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InsanityHasPigtails's Journal


InsanityHasPigtails's Journal

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12 entries this month
 

The Egg

19:47 Apr 23 2012
Times Read: 438






By: Andy Weir





You were on your way home when you died.



It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.



And that’s when you met me.



“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”



“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.



“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”



“Yup,” I said.



“I… I died?”



“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.



You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”



“More or less,” I said.



“Are you god?” You asked.



“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”



“My kids… my wife,” you said.



“What about them?”



“Will they be all right?”



“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”



You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.



“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”



“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”



“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”



“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”



“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”



You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”



“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”



“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”



“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”



I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.



“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”



“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”



“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”



“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”



“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”



“Where you come from?” You said.



“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”



“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”



“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”



“So what’s the point of it all?”



“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”



“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.



I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”



“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”



“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”



“Just me? What about everyone else?”



“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”



You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”



“All you. Different incarnations of you.”



“Wait. I’m everyone!?”



“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.



“I’m every human being who ever lived?”



“Or who will ever live, yes.”



“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”



“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.



“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.



“And you’re the millions he killed.”



“I’m Jesus?”



“And you’re everyone who followed him.”



You fell silent.



“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”



You thought for a long time.



“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”



“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”



“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”



“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”



“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”



“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”



And I sent you on your way.

COMMENTS

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captainglobehead
captainglobehead
19:51 Apr 23 2012

Probably the deepest concept I've read all year.





MirageInAComa
MirageInAComa
07:28 Jun 20 2012

Beautiful.





 

Thought of the day.

19:16 Apr 23 2012
Times Read: 439


I hate guys who date me and tell me all they dated were Asian girls before me.





I have nothing against Asian girls. I just think this obsession with them is stupid.





Sorry I'm not a little Asian school girl.



Stupid ass bitches.







COMMENTS

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19:14 Apr 23 2012
Times Read: 440


My life consist of few things, school, homework, tea, eggs ( I really like eggs), staying up all night gaming with the guys, and never getting enough sleep. As you can see I don't really have much of a social life.



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and I think to myself

06:28 Apr 21 2012
Times Read: 444


Some days are just Melancholy


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00:26 Apr 21 2012
Times Read: 445


Had Job interview today.


COMMENTS

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Here and there.

03:41 Apr 16 2012
Times Read: 447


I don't really talk to anyone here. (here as in my home)



My friends are close but there are some things I just don't want to talk about with them.



At least once every three months I allow all the emotions I have bottled out to come out.



Usually this is in front of my best friend Daniel.



Recently I found out that my boyfriend had a brain tumor before.



He didn't tell me how long he had it or when he did, he just told me that it was there and then it wasn't.



It kind of scared me and caused my emotional freak out.





No one here really knows I have a bf other than my friends, and only a few of them.



He doesn't live here.







My mother always use to tell me "How can you love someone you never met"





I guess my only response to that is that I have never loved anyone other than my mother and my best friend Daniel.



So I know that I love my boyfriend.



I decided to let him in for once.



I don't normally do this with the people I date, but I did.



When I told him how I was scared for him he made everything better.





He always makes everything better.





Even if he isn't with me, he is with me.







Most people don't understand that.

It's okay they don't have to.





I just wanted to tell someone about my life.



I wanted to feel like someone out there was listening.



COMMENTS

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MirageInAComa
MirageInAComa
07:30 Jun 20 2012

The world knows because the universe sends out signals.





 

03:25 Apr 16 2012
Times Read: 448


A spoon fill of sugar makes the medicine go down.



You know unless you are diabetic, then it just kills you.



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06:55 Apr 12 2012
Times Read: 455


Im a bit bored. someone talk to me Q_Q


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Book.

05:35 Apr 11 2012
Times Read: 457


The world was not meant for people like me.

Who choose to standout and be different and I mean truly be different.



The ones who stand up for the little guy, the ones who are the little guy.

A lot of people want to be different but in reality they are all the same.

It is that need to be different that makes them the same.



I know certain people (family, friends ect.) that think they are "Unique or different" but they aren't they are the same book with just a different cover.



All I had ever wanted was acceptance in the world and the day I stopped wanting that was the day I was free.



I am different.



I will never be like other people.



sometimes that is okay, sometimes it's not.





But I'm okay now.



I'm happy I'm different, different is good, different is different.


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06:28 Apr 10 2012
Times Read: 459


Happiness.



It's nice to have you again after so long.


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EH

21:56 Apr 08 2012
Times Read: 461


Honestly I need to find a job.

My dad treats me like a child when I'm not one anymore.

In fact he acts like a child.

He is a brat.





I just want to leave and find my own place where I don't have to constantly be told shit by a hypocrite.



So what if I didn't do my homework all of spring break they are my classes, I'm the one going to college, NOT YOU.


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17:45 Apr 04 2012
Times Read: 472


You never really realize that full impact that something has had on you.



I never realized how much my dad being sick effected me.

But I guess it has a lot.



Sometimes I get scared that people I love are going to get sick too.



I feel a bit helpless because you can protect people from many things.



But how do you protect them from something like that?


COMMENTS

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TheArtistRose
TheArtistRose
17:49 Apr 04 2012

You give them hope and comfort. Hope all is well for you and your loved ones.





MirageInAComa
MirageInAComa
06:33 Apr 05 2012

I think back to those in my life at the time. It was not easy for anyone involved.



I know you've suffered.



I tried so hard to keep things going.



It's a miracle you made it through...



I tried to shelter you.



Protect you.



The only means I had was to make those around me fight to be here. To not let this thing win.



Everyone takes their body and all its functions for granted.



Sometimes I would catch myself looking at a glass of water and wonder how it would feel to be so thirsty and not being able to drink.



I think back and I remember you. The strong little girl who could take on anything.



You were tough.



In a lot of ways, you still are.



In a lot of other ways, you're fragile.



When things go wrong, you can either strap on your boots and dig in for the long haul...



OR



You can choose to let things go.



You'll never be the latter.



You'll ALWAYS be ready for anything that comes your way, planned or not.



You have the tools and you have your sister and me.



No matter what happens, we'll always protect and care for each other, no matter what.








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