I hate guys who date me and tell me all they dated were Asian girls before me.
I have nothing against Asian girls. I just think this obsession with them is stupid.
Sorry I'm not a little Asian school girl.
Stupid ass bitches.
My life consist of few things, school, homework, tea, eggs ( I really like eggs), staying up all night gaming with the guys, and never getting enough sleep. As you can see I don't really have much of a social life.
I don't really talk to anyone here. (here as in my home)
My friends are close but there are some things I just don't want to talk about with them.
At least once every three months I allow all the emotions I have bottled out to come out.
Usually this is in front of my best friend Daniel.
Recently I found out that my boyfriend had a brain tumor before.
He didn't tell me how long he had it or when he did, he just told me that it was there and then it wasn't.
It kind of scared me and caused my emotional freak out.
No one here really knows I have a bf other than my friends, and only a few of them.
He doesn't live here.
My mother always use to tell me "How can you love someone you never met"
I guess my only response to that is that I have never loved anyone other than my mother and my best friend Daniel.
So I know that I love my boyfriend.
I decided to let him in for once.
I don't normally do this with the people I date, but I did.
When I told him how I was scared for him he made everything better.
He always makes everything better.
Even if he isn't with me, he is with me.
Most people don't understand that.
It's okay they don't have to.
I just wanted to tell someone about my life.
I wanted to feel like someone out there was listening.
A spoon fill of sugar makes the medicine go down.
You know unless you are diabetic, then it just kills you.
The world was not meant for people like me.
Who choose to standout and be different and I mean truly be different.
The ones who stand up for the little guy, the ones who are the little guy.
A lot of people want to be different but in reality they are all the same.
It is that need to be different that makes them the same.
I know certain people (family, friends ect.) that think they are "Unique or different" but they aren't they are the same book with just a different cover.
All I had ever wanted was acceptance in the world and the day I stopped wanting that was the day I was free.
I am different.
I will never be like other people.
sometimes that is okay, sometimes it's not.
But I'm okay now.
I'm happy I'm different, different is good, different is different.
Honestly I need to find a job.
My dad treats me like a child when I'm not one anymore.
In fact he acts like a child.
He is a brat.
I just want to leave and find my own place where I don't have to constantly be told shit by a hypocrite.
So what if I didn't do my homework all of spring break they are my classes, I'm the one going to college, NOT YOU.
You never really realize that full impact that something has had on you.
I never realized how much my dad being sick effected me.
But I guess it has a lot.
Sometimes I get scared that people I love are going to get sick too.
I feel a bit helpless because you can protect people from many things.
But how do you protect them from something like that?
COMMENTS
You give them hope and comfort. Hope all is well for you and your loved ones.
I think back to those in my life at the time. It was not easy for anyone involved.
I know you've suffered.
I tried so hard to keep things going.
It's a miracle you made it through...
I tried to shelter you.
Protect you.
The only means I had was to make those around me fight to be here. To not let this thing win.
Everyone takes their body and all its functions for granted.
Sometimes I would catch myself looking at a glass of water and wonder how it would feel to be so thirsty and not being able to drink.
I think back and I remember you. The strong little girl who could take on anything.
You were tough.
In a lot of ways, you still are.
In a lot of other ways, you're fragile.
When things go wrong, you can either strap on your boots and dig in for the long haul...
OR
You can choose to let things go.
You'll never be the latter.
You'll ALWAYS be ready for anything that comes your way, planned or not.
You have the tools and you have your sister and me.
No matter what happens, we'll always protect and care for each other, no matter what.
COMMENTS
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captainglobehead
19:51 Apr 23 2012
Probably the deepest concept I've read all year.
MirageInAComa
07:28 Jun 20 2012
Beautiful.